As a coach, I really value being able to find the time to think. I love the space to reflect and get my thoughts in order. But I’ve been thinking a lot about negativity lately. I don’t mean that I was having negative thoughts – rather that I was thinking about what it means to me and what its impact can be.
That was initially sparked by hearing someone say that being negative is exhausting, it takes so much effort, so why would we want to do it? Now, I have often heard that it was the effort of keeping positive that was exhausting. The question is, which is right?
Sometimes it is hard to be positive, especially if we are trying to juggle different priorities, or if we are not happy in work. It can be easy to feel that there is just too much to be negative about and we may find it hard to identify anything positive. But think for a moment about the impact of those negative thoughts on yourself and others.
We’ve all been there. Someone comes up with a good idea or suggests a change, and everyone gets excited. Then there it is that little voice that says, that won’t work, we tried that before. And before we know it, the mood has shifted and the idea has been dismissed. You might think that the owner of the little voice is now happy but often they are not and they go on to complain that nothing ever gets done, nothing changes. Those with the good ideas are also left frustrated and reluctant to raise the good idea again. And this spiral of negativity impacts on everyone.
So what can we do about it? Well, we can ignore them or just accept them for who they are and leave them to it. Or perhaps laugh off their negative comments and get away from them as quickly as possible. I am pretty confident that I have used these approaches in the past, but I have never felt that they have been very satisfactory.
Being negative is exhausting, not just for that person but for everyone else around them. But what am I going to do about it? That is the million-dollar question and perhaps the answer is easier than I thought.
I am going to lead by example and look for the positive whenever I can. I’m going to encourage others to do the same.
And who knows? One day, there might be no one saying, ‘That won’t work.’
Helen Rogers Coaching 